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Pole Cleaver, High-Heeled Shoe, Claws, Teeth, Bare Hands, Syringe, Hummingbird Sculpture, Severed Arm, Karate Kicks, Scissors, Garden Gnome, Pitchfork, Pliers, Light Bulb, Broken Door, Hedge Clippers, Kitchen Knife, Meat Cleaver, Wash Wringer, Severed Leg, Blender, Frying Pan, Lawnmower, Amulet
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Reviewed by Pontifex Aureus
Among gore aficionados, few will deny that Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive (yep, “Lord of the Rings” Peter Jackson) has rightfully earned its place in the pantheon of the goriest movies of all time. Some will even tell you that it’s THE goriest movie of all time. Maybe so, but despite all its corn-syrupy bloodshed, the best thing that Dead Alive has going for it is that it’s just so damned funny.
Set in 1950’s Wellington, New Zealand, Dead Alive follows the story of Lionel Cosgrove, a life-long mama’s boy who finally slips away from Mother when he meets his fate-foretold love interest, Paquita. Things go well for the couple until Mother tries to intervene and finds herself unexpectedly becoming a pus-spewing zombie. Ever loyal to his mom, Lionel is forced to become her caretaker, keeping her hidden, sedated, and locked up. The cat doesn’t stay in the bag long though, and the zombies start piling up, leading to an unforgettable climax that ranks among the bloodiest in all of cinema.
There’s a lot to love in Dead Alive. You want memorable characters? How about a karate-fighting priest or a Nazi Taxidermist? What about a Sumatran rat monkey that’s the product of inter-species rape or a blob of living, anthropomorphic intestines that’s actually kind of cute? Speaking of intestines, let’s not forget the gore. So much blood and guts spilled that to this day the house Dead Alive was filmed in still bears a few dried-out blood stains on the ceiling. If haven’t seen a man’s face being pulled off like a mask or a zombie baby hatch out of a human head, then you are missing out my friend. And yes, this is all done in tremendous old-school style; no CGI, just lots of fake blood and rubber puppets. Oh yeah…and there’s also zombie sex (because that’s where zombie-babies come from).
But the best thing of all about Dead Alive is that it is deliriously, stupidly funny. Example: If you have a zombie baby, what’s the first thing you do? Take him out for a stroll in the park, am I right? And if he starts to act up and you have smack him up a bit…people will understand, right? Or what if you have dinner guests, but –uh,oh– your mom comes down with a little case of explosive zombie zits…what do you do? That’s right, you serve ’em up a mess o’ pudding! And have some pudding yourself; it makes for an excellent movie-time snack.
Dead Alive (or Braindead, as it’s known overseas), is a notorious monster of a goreshow; it was banned in Germany, Finland, South Korea, and heavily edited in other countries, and though somewhat ignored in its time, it has since become a holy grail of delightfully puke-inducing splatter and nastiness—the goriest movie ever made. Be advised horror fans; this one’s rich and creamy, just the way you like it.
splatterjunkie 