Archive for the ‘News’ Category

Updated Splat-Stats Info

Posted: September 19, 2014 in News
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Very soon we will be updating our Splat-Stats info page in order to make it a little more readable and a little less technical. The original info posts will still be available under the “Info” category, for those of you who wish to see them.

Also, in light of the recent arrival of two new contributors to our offices, we will be adding author names to every article and review from now on.

Things are moving along swiftly here at splatterjunkie.com and it’s only going to get better, so keep your eye on us and we’ll do all we can to keep raising the bar.

Hello wanderers of the Internet wasteland! We here at splatterjunkie.com are striving to bring you more and more content just as quickly as we can, but calculating Gore Quotients is hard, tedious work! As such, we will be adding two regular contributors to our staff—which, in fact, currently consists of just me, Pontifex Aureus, referring to ourselves in the first-person plural as always.

We will have one new movie reviewer, who will soon be treating us all to a review of the 1978 classic Halloween. Also joining us will be a video-game and music reviewer who is currently crafting a review of the smash-hit survival horror video game, The Last of Us.

Look for these articles soon and don’t forget about our upcoming, brand-new feature: Movie Executions! More on that later.

We really love Halloween. In fact, it feels like for all of October we’re just preparing for Halloween—planning parties, designing costumes; every day before the 31st is just build-up to Halloween. So it seems a shame that we only celebrate on the 31st when the whole month is so powerfully marked by the spirit of the macabre. That’s why, in the spirit of prolonging the spooky festivities, we here at splatterjunkie.com are introducing a series of new October Holidays.

First on the list is “October 4th”, celebrating Horror Independence! Yes, it’s a holiday held in honor of those intrepid indie horror filmmakers out there who are doing it all on their own, free from the tyranny of Big Studios. So be sure to observe this special day by participating in some October 4th traditions! First of all, since we’re celebrating independent horror filmmakers, watch some independent horror movies! Go out of your way to find something obscure and new. Secondly, if you know any indie horror filmmakers, give them a buck. Or go to their websites and give them a buck–it doesn’t have to be much, just enough to show you care. Thirdly, indulge in the traditional October 4th savory dish (that I just made up): the Shamble Pie.

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Shamble Pie Recipe:

Ingredients:

  • Box of Filo (Phyllo) Dough
  • Pack of Baby Spinach
  • 2 Red Onions, sliced into thin rings
  • Gruyere Cheese
  • Thin-Sliced Lean Roast Beef
  • Olive Oil
  • Rosemary
  • Salt

Lightly oil a casserole dish and lay down a sheet of Filo Dough. Next, put down a layer of grated Gruyere Cheese. Layer some  Baby Spinach over the cheese, lightly drizzling the spinach with Olive Oil. Then put down a layer of Roast Beef, folding it up in ripples rather than laying it flat. Sprinkle the Roast Beef with some Rosemary. Next, put down a layer of Red Onions. Top that with another layer of grated Gruyere Cheese and then put another sheet of Filo on top of that. Repeat this process twice more, adding salt to each layer according to taste. Heat up the oven to 200 degrees and let bake for 18-20 minutes.

Finally, as a last step, disregard the previous instructions and make your own damn Shamble Pie! We’re celebrating indie filmmaking here; it is not a straightforward process, you make your own rules as you go along. So throw whatever you want in there—make it weird. If you’re following a recipe, you’re doing it wrong.

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And finally, don’t miss out on the best October 4th tradition of all: Splatterworks! Splatterworks are basically fireworks, but with a bloody twist: they’re fireworks wrapped in blood packets! To make a simple splatterwork, just fill a condom with fake blood and wrap it around a Black Cat (make sure the fuse sticks out enough so that the flame won’t touch the condom or it could prematurely burst). That’s just one idea; be as creative as you like (while being safe and obeying your local laws).

So there you have it my fellow horror addicts, a brand-new October holiday complete with traditions and all. Will you let October 4th pass unnoticed or are you ready to let the fake blood fly?

Introducing Movie Executions!

Posted: September 1, 2014 in News
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Rejoice, horror heathens, a new feature is nigh upon you! Our very first video feature: Movie Executions! We here at Splatterjunkie.com have seen many movies and some of those movies were so bad that they deserve to die. I will not yet reveal to you the name of the first movie that will taste our street-justice, but basically, we will read off a list of charges against the movie and then provide you with video evidence that will prove the vileness of this movie’s crimes. After a guilty verdict is reached (heh, heh…sham trials are fun) the offending movie shall be executed right before your very eyes in a way most befitting the nature of its crimes.

So look for it soon!

Up and Running

Posted: August 30, 2014 in News
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Ok horror addicts, we are officially up and running under our proper name: splatterjunkie.com! We will be doing a lot of posting over the next few days to flesh out the site. We will soon be unveiling a new video feature as well: Movie Executions. Because some movies are so bad, that they deserve to die. More on that later.

Introducing Thought-Bombs

Posted: July 16, 2014 in News
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Sometime after we post our review of Dead Alive (coming soon) we intended to release our first Thought-Bomb. A Thought-Bomb is a full-length article (meaning longer than a normal post), that takes on a philosophical question having to do with the horror genre in general. It is our hope that these articles will inspire others to dig below the surface of our beloved horror genre and deep into its moist entrails, where the profoundest understanding lies. We would like to generate discussion as well as participate in debate, since we value dissenting opinions as well.

Our first Thought-Bomb will attempt to answer the question: What is a horror movie?