Introducing Thought-Bombs

Posted: July 16, 2014 in News
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Sometime after we post our review of Dead Alive (coming soon) we intended to release our first Thought-Bomb. A Thought-Bomb is a full-length article (meaning longer than a normal post), that takes on a philosophical question having to do with the horror genre in general. It is our hope that these articles will inspire others to dig below the surface of our beloved horror genre and deep into its moist entrails, where the profoundest understanding lies. We would like to generate discussion as well as participate in debate, since we value dissenting opinions as well.

Our first Thought-Bomb will attempt to answer the question: What is a horror movie?

Greetings horror fiends, within the next few days, we here at splatterjunkie.com will be posting our first movie review: Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive!! Our review will include a feature called SplatStats. The SplatStats track three kinds of horror movie statistics: Kill Count, Gore Quotient, and Weapon Inventory. The Kill Count is simply a tally of the total amount of kills in a movie and the Weapon Inventory is a list of all weapons used. The Gore Quotient is bit more complicated.

Basically, the Gore Quotient is a mathematical measure that tells you how bloody a movie is. This is accomplished through an in-depth procedure that allows us to determine the area (in square inches) of all the frames in a film. With this information, we are then able to determine what proportion of this screen area contains blood/gore. For example, the movie Dead Alive has a Gore Quotient of 1,927; that means that for every 10,000 square inches of measured screen area, 1,927 of those square inches were occupied by blood.

Dead Alive is well-known for being one of the goriest movies of all time, so it was specifically chosen to be the high benchmark against which all other movies compare. So if a movie gets a Gore Quotient of 964, you’ll know that it’s approximately half as bloody as Dead Alive. And that’s not opinion, that’s measurable fact.

Watch out for our review of Dead Alive, coming soon.

Horror Movie Goodness: Expect It!

Posted: July 8, 2014 in News
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Hello, casual internet explorers, Pontifex Aureus here, alone for now, but expect that to change in the future as new commentators join our ranks here at splatterjunkie.com, or as we’re currently known as, splatterjunkie.wordpress.com. Expect that to change too (as soon as we get that $$). Expect to see movie reviews, videos, pictures, and all manner of horror movie goodness…eventually.

In the future, we’ll be posting every Friday, but in the next few weeks, you can expect to see me posting much more frequently as I attempt to flesh out this site a little. Within the next few days, me and my Crayolas will be done designing the official site logo, so expect to see that as well. I will also post our first movie review (no later than next week, I expect) which will include our soon-to-be trademark SplatStats; a feature for which I have great expectations. More on that later. Expect it.

Greetings internet wanderer, come inside, take off your shoes. Unfortunately, I have no accommodations for you yet, as this site is under construction. In the future, I will have movie reviews and blog posts to enthrall you with, but for now let us both sit back in imaginary rocking chairs and try to name as many different kinds of wood as we can. I’ll go first: teak, pine, mahogany, elm, balsa, cherry, spruce, ebony, oak, cedar, ash, beech, hickory, birch, walnut, poplar, mesquite…